Energy Psychology, Self-Nuturing, Covid-19
Before tapping existed, there weren’t many self-comforting methods available to us that quickly facilitated our emotional resilience during a breakup. And the uncertainty of the pandemic and quarantine has made things worse. The extraordinary circumstances we have been living in have contributed to anxiety and to a record rise of divorce rates and long-term relationship breakups. reference
But using the 21st Century healing method, Energy Psychology and tapping, it’s now possible for you to fast-forward your breakup and divorce pain and anguish. You can discover the magnificence of true emotional resilience faster than you realize!
If your relationship blew up during all this, and you’re feeling like you failed somehow, I want you to know one thing; it’s not your fault it didn’t work. It was just a bad fit. There, I said it. Chances are, your relationship already had stress fractures.
Divorce is not a failure
Here’s my perspective; if you can’t sit through one pandemic with the person you married, you certainly couldn’t be stranded on a desert island with them either. In the grander scheme, only the solid foundations can hold a house up during a storm.
Stress from pandemic lockdown, combined with staying together in close quarters, has forced couples to stay home, face their relationship problems, and live in it until they can’t. The general stress and worldwide uncertainty has taken a major toll on all aspects of our relationships. But the pandemic meant there was nowhere for couples to hide: children at home and no time spent apart at work meant problems were more difficult to avoid.
When you look beyond the hurt and pain, there’s a silver lining to a pandemic divorce. You realize life’s too short, and there’s no time to waste being unhappy. The real possibility of death by Covid made this an especially pressing issue.
Your choice is to either sacrifice what’s left of your life feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied or lead by example and make the healthiest decision for you and your wellbeing. For your own health, it is imperative to feel resilient. If you have children and decide to stay and make the sacrifice, you may unfortunately teach them how to come last in a relationship.
Children pick up your energy
The main thing to remember is that it’s important for you to keep calm, balanced and focused to make it easier to navigate your daily life. It’s especially important when there are young children involved who follow your lead.
Like little energy sponges, children absorb your energy. That means whatever energy you vibrate for the day, both good and bad, will emanate through your moods. This happens even if you don’t share your feelings and the details of your divorce.
Fear, anger, anxiety, grief and sadness energies compound your children’s feelings of loss, confusion, and feeling frightened, insecure and unsafe. The sooner you show your resilience, the sooner they’ll become resilient.
My experience of divorce
For me, the one thing that was non-negotiable was to live a lifetime of regret. I refused to be old and unhappy with someone who wasn’t a good fit for me.
As a veteran of divorce myself, I can draw on the range of emotions I felt from my perspective. After 12 years of marriage, and at least 8 of those years in emotional estrangement inside my head, I asked my husband for a divorce.
Okay, I might have said something to him sooner, but I wasn’t the best communicator back then. I just kept accommodating the bad fit between us and kept it to myself. There were many important issues between us that were easier to ignore because he traveled for long periods of time for his work. On my off days from work as a Flight Attendant, I had time on my hands to do what I pleased, when I pleased. It worked for me.
Long story short, I became weary from commuting from Los Angeles to Houston just to go to work, and at the same time my husband lost his job. So, there we were, home together day in and day out, forced to live in our reality. There was no denying it any longer. I couldn’t stay, no matter how much it would hurt him. I chose my happiness instead.
My experience was like being stuck together during the quarantine. Although there was no fear of death from a virus, I understand the marriage-implosion thing. But I have to say, I’ve never regretted my decision. In retrospect, I’m amazed by how strongly I felt about my self-preservation.
A long time to recover
My breakup and divorce happened long before I made the amazing discovery of Energy Psychology and tapping, and I was left to my own devices to tough it out. I had to cycle through my own feelings the hard way and the long way. Honestly, it took me a good 5 years to get over it, and I’m the one who broke up with him.
But that was five long years of anger, sadness and guilt for me. It was hard to stay in the moment and enjoy my life because my mind would back-pedal to all those emotions from the divorce. The great news is that it doesn’t have to be that way for you!
Knowing what I know now as a tapping expert, it’s a pleasure to show you how to go through your separation and divorce with the least amount of discomfort. I can speed-up your ability to bounce back with resilience in your new life!
Releasing anxiety to increase resilience
Whether you’re the one who initiated the divorce, or you were blind-sided, and couldn’t see it coming, I’ll show you an easy, fast-acting method you can do to yourself for emotional relief in case of emergency!
In less than a minute it will soothe your mind, relax your body, and you’ll be able to breathe deeper. You will experience instant relief soon after you tap.
Going through a breakup and divorce definitely increases anxiety. Your first step is to learn how to bring down your fear and anxiety by activating a specific Organ Meridian point on your face.
Tapping to release anxiety
With two fingertips rapidly tap 7-8 times firmly under your eye. The specific point is directly under the eyeball on the edge of the bone. This is the point relating to the energy pathway lines in your body which are part of the Stomach Meridian.
When you have located this place the next thing is to acknowledge your anxiety. This can sound counter cultural because anxiety is what you want to get rid of. But there is truth in the saying:“The only way out is through.”
While you’re firmly and rapidly tapping on this point, say aloud“I can’t let go of this anxiety.” “I can’t let go of this anxiety.”
Repeat it while you continue to tap. Keep it simple and uncomplicated. You’ll feel better. If you are in a public place you don’t have to say the words aloud, you can just think them in your head. If possible, say them aloud.
When you have finished please notice if you had any kind of body reaction. It could be sighing, belching, yawning or even a light-headed feeling or that there is less tension in your body. This means that the energy is moving – and is a really good sign. Don’t
Resolve the shock of the break up
Your next step is to resolve the initial shock of the breakup. Even if it happened a year ago, it’s still an abrupt change in your life. In terms of energy, the separation is still fresh.
But even if it doesn’t still feel acute, there might be some part of you that hasn’t fully acknowledged it is over. So again, it is important to own this difficult reality. Allowing it to fully land is an important step to healing your heart and mind.
The best Meridian point to activate to help you with this is the Kidney/Adrenals Meridian located under your collarbone.
With two fingertips find the notch between both collar bones (your clavicles) and move down two inches. Now move your fingers two inches to either the right side, or the left side, your choice.
Tap firmly and rapidly on that point 7 or 8 times and either say aloud or think it to yourself;“A part of me can’t believe it’s really over.” “A part of me can’t believe it’s really over.” while you tap.
When you have finished look to see if you get a physical relaxation response. If you start yawning, it may not be because you are tired but because the energy has moved - which is what you want to happen.
These tapping points will move you through the first two immediate emotions. Any time you feel fearand/or anxiety, or shock and disbelief, use these tapping points and I am confident they will bring you relief.
Increasing your resilience reduces the psychological difficulties that always come with a divorce. A pandemic divorce is especially tough to negotiate and calls for even greater measures of resilience.
Please let me know how you’re coming along in the comments below.
Author: Dr Rossanna Massey is a world renowned authority on Energy Psychology who uses her simple signature tapping protocol to free people from anxiety and other negative emotions so they can feel happier and more in control of their lives.Please sign up to Dr Rossanna’s newsletter below to keep up to date on free Live Facebook events, Masterclasses and new blog posts.